I recently put it to my facebook friends the good old question of "Which would you prefer to be without .. this or that?" You can often have wonderful debates about which one is better.
Because of how life is here in Quakeville aka Christchurch, I opted to ask between power and water. Which would you prefer to be without? If you were not involved in that discussion, take a moment now to think about it, would life be easier without power? or easier without water?
Due to the unpredictable shaking of Mother Nature, I have experienced both power cuts and water cuts. Sometimes they are at different times and sometimes they are both gone together. In light of these inconveniences, I have firmly determined which out of the two I can be more relaxed about loosing.
The majority vote has said that they would prefer to be without power but still have water. It makes sense right. Our bodies are made up of from what I understand to be around 75% water. Please correct me if I am wrong. We can not survive much long than a week without drinking any form of water. Water is just something we can not live without. Our survival is paramount on consuming some form of water/fluids. If we do not, before we pass on to the next life from dehydration, we will experience skin irritation, to hallucinations, also your tounge will swell and crack. Doesn't sound pleasant in the slightest does it. It is very fair to say that water is vital to our well being. It is so important that ancient civilisations formed cities around a water supply. Watering holes became the social gathering place and for many, it is what life revolves around.
But has today's world changed? Are there now other things that are more important than having water in our homes? How easy do you think it is to live without electricity, especially in a natural disaster when the water (if you get any) in your homes is unsafe to drink?
Lets look at how life is without electricity. Well more along the lines of, how my life is without electricity but with water.
First of all, everything is going to be cooked on a barbecue. My oven uses electricity. We can't have open fires in the city because it is illegal. Barbecue needs gas. So off down to the petrol station to fill up my gas bottle. While I'm there, I'll fill my car as well. Hang on a sec, I need electricity to pump the gas/petrol out of the pump, also I only have eftpos, no one really carries cash anymore and that requires electricity as well. Ok Ok most commercial places will have generators, but if their generator is not working, then neither is anything else.
So I get home, open my freezer to go cook some dinner. Oh no! Everything is defrosting. I'm going to have to cook all of this right now! But first, I need to boil some water so I can drink it. Has anybody tried to boil water on a bbq? I have. It doesn't boil. Even with the bbq on as hot as it can go, for a whole hour, it still doesn't boil. I can not make my own drinkable water at home unless I add chemicals to it. You might then want to go look up on the net how much chemicals to add to how much water. Hang on, I need electricity for that. So you call your mum, mums know a lot of things. Oh dear, my phone is cordless, it needs electricity to work. You look at your cell phone, Battery is dying. Dam. By this time kids are getting cranky. They are missing out on their favourite tv show, or they want to dance around to music.
I need to get some washing done and dishes done. I have to hand wash cloths seen as the washing machine also runs on power. Then I have to hand wring them which takes twice as long to dry outside (no dryer) because you can not get rid of as much water from the cloths as the washing machine can. Dishes also done by hand, the dishwasher needs power. You are now the dishwasher, just what your mum raised you to be.
The sun is setting, the house is getting dark, and cold. You move everyone into one bedroom. Its much warmer everyone snuggling in with each other. You light candles because that is the main thing people have for light when the power is out. But has anyone had kids around candles? I have had a few almost fires due to that. I couldn't even go relieve myself without a mischief placing a candle in an empty draw and closing it. Also if it is earthquakes that took away your power, an earthquake can easily knock a candle over. The kids are now asleep, sigh. You decide now is a good time to risk walking through the cold un-heated home to go have a shower. Hey, you still at lest have running water. But it's a stone cold shower. No power to heat the water. So you opt for a spounge bath from water you heated (not boiled) on the bbq. Then you go to bed early because you can't watch your program and the candle light isn't the easiest to read your book in. The next day you head to the supermarket and buy food for the day (you cooked all your food already because the freezer stopped working) and hope they have what you need in stock. No frozen stuff and limited chilled things. They don't want to over work the generators. Your lucky to find anything more than milk, mince and chicken in the chiller.
Ok, so now how is life like without water but with electricity? First port of call, collect water. There are a number of ways in which you can do this. Find someone who has running water and are willing to share, If your council is nice they provide tankers full of water, go to the supermarket and buy some safe to drink water. If it was raining that night, you would have been smart enough to put a barrel or wheelie bin or other large container under a drain pipe from the roof to collect all the water that fell on the roof. You will need to boil this water, but that is easily done on the oven seen as you have power. You are still able to use all the mod-cons of this day in age, the kids are amused, you can still keep in contact with people on the other side of town. You can access information so much easier about what you need to be doing and what exactly is going on around town. There are still some things that you will have to put up with like having a spounge bath. But hey, at lest your doing it in a warm bathroom! Also flushing the toilet is a lot harder, but that's when a bucket of collected water can come in handy, or the strong stomach to handle going in the garden with the cat. Its actually not that bad. When you have to go, you have to go!!! And making a toilet can be fun to do. A great way to get the imagination working.
When it comes to doing laundry and dishes, its still a hand wash job, but at lest with the clothing you can spin it in the machine, and dry it in the tumble dryer if needs be. But it still gets dryer faster with power.
My opinion from experience, Is that life seems to be a lot easier without water. Even tho it is such a vital component to our survival, with a little bit of imagination and clever thinking, you can collect water. But you can not collect electricity. You can go down to the supermarket and use your eftpos to buy a few bottles of water, but you can not go down to the supermarket and buy x amounts of power and carry it home in a bag. Unless you have a generator sitting in your shed, life now days is very hard when the power is cut. Our modern way of living just doesn't allow us to still have all our luxuries without power.
Before all of this shaking, my first thought was I would prefer to be without power than water but .....
You can take my water, I will just get my own, But I will scream if you take my power!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
My little secret.
Over the last few months, there is something that has been going on in the background of my life. I have kept it somewhat quiet in order to minimize what could be unnecessary stress, worry and concern. I try to look at life with the thought of " Life happens and it is our job to live it, not to sit about and worry all the time." Although I am not perfect at holding to that principal, I do strive to hold tight to it.
The time has now come that I am able to draw a conclusion to this hic-up in my journey through life, and so I have decided to write a post about it
I have been contemplating how I would tell this story and what exactly I would say, but I wrote a diary entry on Thursday and have decided that sharing that entry would be best seen as it sums the story up nicely and the thoughts that i had during the time.
Warning: This is a long diary entry, so i hope you have time to read.
The time has now come that I am able to draw a conclusion to this hic-up in my journey through life, and so I have decided to write a post about it
I have been contemplating how I would tell this story and what exactly I would say, but I wrote a diary entry on Thursday and have decided that sharing that entry would be best seen as it sums the story up nicely and the thoughts that i had during the time.
Warning: This is a long diary entry, so i hope you have time to read.
Thursday 6th January 2011
Today is a significant day. Not only is it the first entry of 2011, but I had a scan today.
Round the beginning of November last year, I found a lump in my left breast. Despite the fact that I had finished breast feeding (mischief 3) about March/April the previous year, I was still mildly lactating and after talking to mum, I thought it might be a blocked duct. So I attempted - completely out of practice - to express the lump away. A lot of stuff came out, but the biggest thing I achieved was giving myself a lovely big bruise.
So the very next day, I toddled off to the Dr. Even tho my G.P is awesome and I grew up with him, exposing my breast to him still felt very uncomfortable. But at the end of the day, I had to do it. Then came the talk about family breast cancer. My Dads Mum, My Dads Fathers Mother and I think there is more on that side but I can't remember. And of course, my personal history with cancer.
We had a talk about things. He could not say for certain, but his ideas are leaning more towards something like a cyst. He sent off a referral to get an ultrasound of the lump.
So I waited and waited. Telling very little people as not to scare, stress and worry people unnecessarily. Got annoyed when Mum told siblings because Nerissa especially worries.
But I started to laugh and joke within myself and those who knew, about how awesome it would be to get a double mastectomy and get bigger breasts, seen as I'm the one in the family that was not gifted with such voluptuous assets and often had that pointed out to me by none other than my Mother. Not to shine a bad light on her, she said it a lot while making my brides maids dress for Nerissa's wedding. She is making all the dresses, so she intimately knows everyones size. Bigger, firmer would be good. Breast feeding 3 kids doesn't help. But no regrets.
After two months of rigorous checking to make sure it was not getting bigger, or smaller, although that would have been good, I finally got my scan.
The mischiefs went to my folks place while Nerissa looked after them and my Mum came with me. Even tho I'm 27 with children of my own, there are still times in a girls life when she needs her Mum. She was there when I gave birth 3 times, so of course she is there when I scan a lump.
I turn up and start filling out the form. Name, D.O.B, When did I find the lump? Where is it? Any other symptoms? Any Family history with Breast Cancer? etc..
As I was filling out the form, I got the first wave of nerves with all of this. So far I've been pretty good. "I can't change anything, so why worry" has been my attitude. Nerves made it more real.
I was then called into the room. Got explained to about what they were doing, then took my tops off and i laid on the bed waiting for the specialist.
Quick Hi's and questions, then I was exposed once more. Uncomfortable but it had to happen. Deep breath, it's ok, He does this all the time. He doesn't care what they look like. Just relax.
Found the lump straight away. About 1cm (100mm). Yeah that was my estimate. White lines coming off it indicates a more benign nature, that's ok ... but it's nobly. Hmm. Could be like a cyst thing but not 100% sure. More tests needed. First one I can do is a mammogram. So again more exposing, touching and prodding. It wasn't as bad as others who have had them said they were. But I'm much smaller than those people. Next step, booked a biopsy 8am Monday morning to get a sample of the cells.
Is this the beginning of a long journey and battle, or just one of those road bumps in life that tend to catch your breath for a second?
I would say that right now i still have the attitude of "I can't change anything, so why worry" but It's slightly different. I'm worried about the journey ahead and how it will affect those around me. I'm not an island, so I know this will affect people. I seem to think we are all swimming in the sea of life. Any move someone makes sends ripples out that touch and affect everyone. We do very little in this life that affects solely us.
I'm not worried about death. When it's time to go, it's time to go and there is very little you can do to change it. I know where I'm going and I have a strong faith that is the rock of my sanity. But I also know it's not my time to go back home just yet. There are still things I need to do and been asked to do in my life that have not yet been finished. So I am very much needed here.
What worries me is how big this could be and how life changing it can be, not only for me, but my family and close friends, and to a degree, anyone I know and anyone I meet because of it. How hard will this journey be? Will it be quick and easy, or long and painful? I don't know, and that scares me. I don't like not knowing. I'm strong enough to get through this, or at least I think I am, But are my kids? Are my family?
Deep Breath. What ever happens happens. Accept it and love life xx
Round the beginning of November last year, I found a lump in my left breast. Despite the fact that I had finished breast feeding (mischief 3) about March/April the previous year, I was still mildly lactating and after talking to mum, I thought it might be a blocked duct. So I attempted - completely out of practice - to express the lump away. A lot of stuff came out, but the biggest thing I achieved was giving myself a lovely big bruise.
So the very next day, I toddled off to the Dr. Even tho my G.P is awesome and I grew up with him, exposing my breast to him still felt very uncomfortable. But at the end of the day, I had to do it. Then came the talk about family breast cancer. My Dads Mum, My Dads Fathers Mother and I think there is more on that side but I can't remember. And of course, my personal history with cancer.
We had a talk about things. He could not say for certain, but his ideas are leaning more towards something like a cyst. He sent off a referral to get an ultrasound of the lump.
So I waited and waited. Telling very little people as not to scare, stress and worry people unnecessarily. Got annoyed when Mum told siblings because Nerissa especially worries.
But I started to laugh and joke within myself and those who knew, about how awesome it would be to get a double mastectomy and get bigger breasts, seen as I'm the one in the family that was not gifted with such voluptuous assets and often had that pointed out to me by none other than my Mother. Not to shine a bad light on her, she said it a lot while making my brides maids dress for Nerissa's wedding. She is making all the dresses, so she intimately knows everyones size. Bigger, firmer would be good. Breast feeding 3 kids doesn't help. But no regrets.
After two months of rigorous checking to make sure it was not getting bigger, or smaller, although that would have been good, I finally got my scan.
The mischiefs went to my folks place while Nerissa looked after them and my Mum came with me. Even tho I'm 27 with children of my own, there are still times in a girls life when she needs her Mum. She was there when I gave birth 3 times, so of course she is there when I scan a lump.
I turn up and start filling out the form. Name, D.O.B, When did I find the lump? Where is it? Any other symptoms? Any Family history with Breast Cancer? etc..
As I was filling out the form, I got the first wave of nerves with all of this. So far I've been pretty good. "I can't change anything, so why worry" has been my attitude. Nerves made it more real.
I was then called into the room. Got explained to about what they were doing, then took my tops off and i laid on the bed waiting for the specialist.
Quick Hi's and questions, then I was exposed once more. Uncomfortable but it had to happen. Deep breath, it's ok, He does this all the time. He doesn't care what they look like. Just relax.
Found the lump straight away. About 1cm (100mm). Yeah that was my estimate. White lines coming off it indicates a more benign nature, that's ok ... but it's nobly. Hmm. Could be like a cyst thing but not 100% sure. More tests needed. First one I can do is a mammogram. So again more exposing, touching and prodding. It wasn't as bad as others who have had them said they were. But I'm much smaller than those people. Next step, booked a biopsy 8am Monday morning to get a sample of the cells.
Is this the beginning of a long journey and battle, or just one of those road bumps in life that tend to catch your breath for a second?
I would say that right now i still have the attitude of "I can't change anything, so why worry" but It's slightly different. I'm worried about the journey ahead and how it will affect those around me. I'm not an island, so I know this will affect people. I seem to think we are all swimming in the sea of life. Any move someone makes sends ripples out that touch and affect everyone. We do very little in this life that affects solely us.
I'm not worried about death. When it's time to go, it's time to go and there is very little you can do to change it. I know where I'm going and I have a strong faith that is the rock of my sanity. But I also know it's not my time to go back home just yet. There are still things I need to do and been asked to do in my life that have not yet been finished. So I am very much needed here.
What worries me is how big this could be and how life changing it can be, not only for me, but my family and close friends, and to a degree, anyone I know and anyone I meet because of it. How hard will this journey be? Will it be quick and easy, or long and painful? I don't know, and that scares me. I don't like not knowing. I'm strong enough to get through this, or at least I think I am, But are my kids? Are my family?
Deep Breath. What ever happens happens. Accept it and love life xx
..................................................
So Monday morning, I got up, got myself ready and made my way to my parents house by 7.30am. My Mischiefs had stayed the night there so I didn't need to wake them up and force them out the door in the early morning.
Mum and I made our way back to Canterbury Breast Care. More nerves, more waiting. I finally went back into the ultrasound room and had to endure more exposing myself. I want to say that the needle was massive, but I feel that gravely understates the size of it. It was roughly the thickness of a knitting needle and it had another needle that would shoot out of it and collect worm like samples of tissue. They had to make a decent size nick in my skin to help get the needle in. They also used the ultra sound to guide the needle to get a decent sample. They did this 3 times. It was rather uncomfortable even with local anaesthetic, but extremely fascinating to watch. When that was done, a 20min wait was needed to make sure the needle site was ok and I was not bleeding too much. Then the waiting game was on. I had to rest, no exercise or swimming. I was not able to go for my run, or even swim my laps. I was a bit frustrated with that, but it was worth the sacrifice.
Monday ticked by, then so did Tuesday and it ended with no word of results. I took a deep breath, and rung my Doctor this afternoon...
I can now breath again. Results are in and it is just a Fibradenoma.
Such relief. I am so thankful that I do not have to go through anything more serious right now and I don't have to make my kids go through any more drama just yet. A nice quiet life from now on would be bliss.
Mum and I made our way back to Canterbury Breast Care. More nerves, more waiting. I finally went back into the ultrasound room and had to endure more exposing myself. I want to say that the needle was massive, but I feel that gravely understates the size of it. It was roughly the thickness of a knitting needle and it had another needle that would shoot out of it and collect worm like samples of tissue. They had to make a decent size nick in my skin to help get the needle in. They also used the ultra sound to guide the needle to get a decent sample. They did this 3 times. It was rather uncomfortable even with local anaesthetic, but extremely fascinating to watch. When that was done, a 20min wait was needed to make sure the needle site was ok and I was not bleeding too much. Then the waiting game was on. I had to rest, no exercise or swimming. I was not able to go for my run, or even swim my laps. I was a bit frustrated with that, but it was worth the sacrifice.
Monday ticked by, then so did Tuesday and it ended with no word of results. I took a deep breath, and rung my Doctor this afternoon...
I can now breath again. Results are in and it is just a Fibradenoma.
Such relief. I am so thankful that I do not have to go through anything more serious right now and I don't have to make my kids go through any more drama just yet. A nice quiet life from now on would be bliss.
Monday, October 25, 2010
I don't need a man.
Right now I am feeling oh so proud of myself. My self worth and love are sky rocketing to the moon in a rocket ship made of warm fuzzy happy feeling. I am so epic!
Now there is indeed a reason to my joyous mood and if you bare with me, I will endeavor to explain before you start thinking that I'm some egotistical maniac that you must hunt and tie up. And please I beg of you not to try and "pop my bubble" or "my big head", It's few and far between in which I encounter this feeling. So please, oh please, let me ride with it.
Back in the first 18 months of my marriage to Jacob, we decided it would be a fun idea if we bought a gazebo. Now I say 18 months because we bought it near the end of living at Richardson Street but I can't remember exactly when that was. It saw a few good times at Richardson Street. A Christmas with family just before we moved up to Christchruch and a Birthday bbq for Jammie and I. See aren't we all having fun in the gazebo.
When we packed up and moved to Christchurch, we unfortunately moved to a house with very little section. No where near enough yard to erect this structure. She sat in our spare garage along with many other things.
A year later, we moved back to Dunedin and moved to North East Valley. The back yard we had, contained ample room to allow the gazebo to show off all her glory once more. That thought excited me. Oh i had many plans for my beloved gazebo but alas, when I suggested to Jacob that we whip her out and have some pleasant shade, He replied with a "Oh, its broken, pieces are missing". Heart broken was I. She sat in our shed, lonely in our shed. Deprived of the glory she so fittingly deserved. Broken, battered, missing polls, this can't be the life she expected.
Once again we moved to our house we bought. She again, sat cold, lonely and now dusty under our house. Over two years she sat there surrounded by all the other long forgotten about junk that tended to follow us where ever we moved. I often thought about her. Thinking how fun it would be if she was able to be put together. I toyed with the idea of buying a new one, but my budget never allowed for it.
As I was cleaning out my house in the plans to move my kids and I back to Christchurch, I came across my beloved gazebo and felt a pang of guilt. For I had started to forget her. I looked at her crumpled on the dirt floor smelling like the neighbours cat and decided to bring her with me, in the hopes to wash her and somehow replace her missing polls. When we arrived in Christchurch, she again was put in the garden shed and has sat there cold, alone and dusty. Until today.
Today I got her out of the shed. I washed her and hung her to dry. I turned to the bag of polls and and decided I would try and see what polls are missing. To my horror, the instructions were missing and the information on what and how many polls there should be was no where to be found either. I sighed and had the thought that the only way I am going to figure out what I need to replace, was to try and put her up again. So off I started. I figured out the roof and found nothing missing there, so I draped her canvas over the top. I then found her legs and with a little help from mischief numbers 1 and 2 her legs were in place. I tied her ropes down, and with an excited giggle, my beloved gazebo was shinning with all her brilliance once more.
Look at her, so pretty.
Jacob probably couldn't be bothered putting her up so he told me she was broken.
Now there is indeed a reason to my joyous mood and if you bare with me, I will endeavor to explain before you start thinking that I'm some egotistical maniac that you must hunt and tie up. And please I beg of you not to try and "pop my bubble" or "my big head", It's few and far between in which I encounter this feeling. So please, oh please, let me ride with it.
Back in the first 18 months of my marriage to Jacob, we decided it would be a fun idea if we bought a gazebo. Now I say 18 months because we bought it near the end of living at Richardson Street but I can't remember exactly when that was. It saw a few good times at Richardson Street. A Christmas with family just before we moved up to Christchruch and a Birthday bbq for Jammie and I. See aren't we all having fun in the gazebo.
When we packed up and moved to Christchurch, we unfortunately moved to a house with very little section. No where near enough yard to erect this structure. She sat in our spare garage along with many other things.
A year later, we moved back to Dunedin and moved to North East Valley. The back yard we had, contained ample room to allow the gazebo to show off all her glory once more. That thought excited me. Oh i had many plans for my beloved gazebo but alas, when I suggested to Jacob that we whip her out and have some pleasant shade, He replied with a "Oh, its broken, pieces are missing". Heart broken was I. She sat in our shed, lonely in our shed. Deprived of the glory she so fittingly deserved. Broken, battered, missing polls, this can't be the life she expected.
Once again we moved to our house we bought. She again, sat cold, lonely and now dusty under our house. Over two years she sat there surrounded by all the other long forgotten about junk that tended to follow us where ever we moved. I often thought about her. Thinking how fun it would be if she was able to be put together. I toyed with the idea of buying a new one, but my budget never allowed for it.
As I was cleaning out my house in the plans to move my kids and I back to Christchurch, I came across my beloved gazebo and felt a pang of guilt. For I had started to forget her. I looked at her crumpled on the dirt floor smelling like the neighbours cat and decided to bring her with me, in the hopes to wash her and somehow replace her missing polls. When we arrived in Christchurch, she again was put in the garden shed and has sat there cold, alone and dusty. Until today.
Today I got her out of the shed. I washed her and hung her to dry. I turned to the bag of polls and and decided I would try and see what polls are missing. To my horror, the instructions were missing and the information on what and how many polls there should be was no where to be found either. I sighed and had the thought that the only way I am going to figure out what I need to replace, was to try and put her up again. So off I started. I figured out the roof and found nothing missing there, so I draped her canvas over the top. I then found her legs and with a little help from mischief numbers 1 and 2 her legs were in place. I tied her ropes down, and with an excited giggle, my beloved gazebo was shinning with all her brilliance once more.
Look at her, so pretty.Jacob probably couldn't be bothered putting her up so he told me she was broken.
So what does this have to do with my egotistical mood and my un-need for a man? I would be asking that very same question if I were reading this as well. Simple answer ..... I did it by myself. No male input was needed and no instructions were looked at. I figured it out all on my own. Then I also started to think ....
*I made a kit set DVD stand all on my own.
*I can sort out a computer and set it up and put it together including the internet on my own.
*Come to think of it, I can do that for all of the house hold electrical gadgets.
*I can mow the law and I actually enjoy it. Yes I know the lawn at the moment needs to be done, but I have no mower.
*I can do the rubbish on my own.
*I can fill my car with petrol on my own.
*I can even change the tire if needs be.
*I can sort my budget and pay my bills all on my own.
*I can do all those so called "manly" tasks all on my own.
But, just because I may not need one, doesn't mean that I do not want one around the house. One would be much appreciated, that is for sure.
I would just like to point out that i am not a feminist. If anything i am and equalist, if thats anything at all. I believe we all have our roles and responsibilities in this life and not one is greater than the other but instead they go hand in hand with each other.
I opted to put this here from another post I had done just in case people get the wrong idea and start thinking I'm some faminazi. Faminazis annoy me by the way, but that's a completely different post all together.!
*I made a kit set DVD stand all on my own.
*I can sort out a computer and set it up and put it together including the internet on my own.
*Come to think of it, I can do that for all of the house hold electrical gadgets.
*I can mow the law and I actually enjoy it. Yes I know the lawn at the moment needs to be done, but I have no mower.
*I can do the rubbish on my own.
*I can fill my car with petrol on my own.
*I can even change the tire if needs be.
*I can sort my budget and pay my bills all on my own.
*I can do all those so called "manly" tasks all on my own.
But, just because I may not need one, doesn't mean that I do not want one around the house. One would be much appreciated, that is for sure.
Disclaimer
I would just like to point out that i am not a feminist. If anything i am and equalist, if thats anything at all. I believe we all have our roles and responsibilities in this life and not one is greater than the other but instead they go hand in hand with each other.
I opted to put this here from another post I had done just in case people get the wrong idea and start thinking I'm some faminazi. Faminazis annoy me by the way, but that's a completely different post all together.!
Friday, September 17, 2010
A Sence of Humor is a Must!
My Dad works for one of Christchurch News Papers - The Press. He sent me an email with a comic attached that had been going around his work and obviously done by someone who works there. So for all those in Christchurch, I'm sure you will relate and hopefully laugh as much as I did!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
My mind is playing tricks.
"Mischief 2 asleep on the living room floor"
Day 6 and exhaustion has long set in. Last night was a miracle, not only did I end up falling asleep on the couch, but I got to sleep before 2am (which is the standard at this present time), and it was also before midnight. It was only a nap on the couch until the earth decided to dance a little jig again, and even with that nap, I still got to sleep before midnight. Admittedly I did lay in bed for almost an hour before my eyes would stay shut.
Yesterday was twirled with a lot of emotions. I woke up tiered and grumpy - The lack of sleep is turning me into the grump monster I really don't want to be. I snapped at the mischiefs, left them in the lounge and went and lay in my bed and started feeling horrible for snapping at them. Just then, another aftershock. It was only a small jolt and I still herd the mischiefs playing babies in the lounge with that horrible voice they put on. I let out a big sigh, then I hear rumbling. Is it a truck? Is it a bus? No, yet another aftershock and a rather bouncy one at that. I have never jumped out of bed as fast as I did. Who needs alarm clocks when earthquakes get you out of bed faster! I ran into the lounge and pushed the mischiefs under the table. Mischief 3 started crying the moment the house started to bounce.
Later that day I ventured out to the supermarket to do my shopping. The city is falling down but life still goes on, still need to keep going. I enlisted the help of my mum with the shopping because school is still out. My house looks like an earthquake hit, and not because of the 100's of aftershocks (I think the total is somewhere in the 200's but only just over 100 have been felt in Christchurch), but because the mischiefs are at home not at school. There were 2 things that the supermarket seemed to be lacking in; Bottled water and rice.
Boiling your water is a pain. Mischief 3 got into the clean cooled down boiled water and tipped soap, food and anything else she could find into it. I had to boil more. I also don't like the idea that I'm showering in water that im not aloud to drink because it may make me sick. That thought proves for very quick showers indeed.
Last night, about 2am, I woke up because something was tickling my face. I look up to see a hand. It was far to big to be a mischief hand and i don't shear my bed with anyone else. Dubiously I picked up the arm to find where it was coming from. The moment I began to move the arm away from me, my right arm starts to feel tingly as blood rushes back into it. It was my own arm that was tickling me. My mind really is playing tricks on me now! Then just after that, I felt another shock. GRRRRRR when are they going to end???
I have no idea how this post is going to sound, and I've noticed that my spelling and grammar is more shocking than ever! I'm rather bad in that area, but anyone following me on Facebook would see that it's gotten so bad since Saturday.
The upscale of anxiety, and general on edge has really frayed a lot of nerves here. Even tho my house is still standing and I have all the facilities one needs, there is still a lot going on around us that can send people to the breaking point. Last night as I lay in bed, I was coming close to that point. But this morning I woke determined not to let this drag me down. I wish right now that I could get out there and help clean up. If the Mischiefs were older, that's exactly what we would all be doing. It does not surprise me that a lot of people are out there helping clean up, its a great way to loose your worries.
"Fire Crew pulling down a chimney on the corner of my street"Metallica were right to come here ... Christchurch sure knows how to rock!
Monday, September 6, 2010
State of Emergency
I woke up at about 3am Saturday morning. I have a mild cold and woke with my nose completely blocked and feeling like I had been punched in the face. My broken tooth also ached and I stressed about how I would find a cheep dentist to fix my tooth. One of the negatives from having children is that my teeth have become considerably weaker. I stressed for about half an hour before sleep once again graced me with her presents. That was the last time that I've been awake and not been on edge, not jumped at every rumbling sound or every rattle of my windows. Only an hour after my eyes closed that morning, the city of Chirstchurch was violently rocked awake.
At approximately 4.30am, I woke to being violently tossed about in my bed, a split second later sound registered in my mind as a loud crack vibrated the air. My large tv that once sat on my draws, was now face down on the wooden floor. I herd my Mischiefs scream through the ever so loud rumbling. The sound was like 100 Jet Planes flying low over head. I tried to get to them but the constant shaking made it next to impossible. When the earth calmed down a little, I went to go check on them. Mischief 1 was awake and sitting in his bed. "what was that mummy?" "An earthquake honey" "What?" "An earthquake, go back to sleep if you can". The girls door had been slammed shut while the earth heaved our house around. I opened it to find them crying in the dark. I turned their bedside light on and calmed them down. When everyone was settled, I went and sat on my bed. I saw my phone and contemplated calling my mum. It was 5am and I did not want to wake her. What if she had slept through it? Next thing my phone starts ringing and it was my mum. I told her that we are fine and the kids are settled again and that yes, I still have power. My sister and brother were both out of power and my sisters house was a mess. I got off the phone to mum and went back to check on the mischiefs, as I stood in my hall way, I herd only what I can explain as a freight train heading right past an open door. Then the ground began to heave again. More screams from the mischief girls. Mischief 1 however had I think actually gone back to sleep. Like his father, can pretty much sleep through anything at night.
Once again when the girls were settled, I came back to my room, sat on my bed, replied to txts friends had sent and sent some off to others I had not herd from. Friends from Dunedin started txting after they to had been woken up and learned that the epicenter was focused near Christchurch. My Bestie from the middle of the north island also started txting me because she too had been shunned awake by the quake. Every half an hour at the latest, the ground would quiver and mischief 3 would moan. I gave up on sleep at about 6am and came onto my computer to see what I could find out. I listened to the radio as I browsed the net and came across a site I'm now addicted to. GeoNet. There I discovered what scientists at that time said was a 7.4 magnitude earthquake hit just outside of Christchurch. I knew we had an earthquake but had no idea it was that big. Although as the day progressed, further study of the information now states that is was a 7.1 magnitude but much shallower than originally thought.
During the morning, friends who were out and about would show up to see if my mischiefs and I were alright. Sometime during the later part of the morning, I decided to take a "tiki tour" to my parents place. I came across a scene just meters from my old High School. It was by the Avon river and a lot of the urban mess can be found by the beautiful Avon river that runs through the City. The road was torn apart, crossing islands ripped by gaping holes. Gutters and drains torn from the road and some crumbled like yesterdays newspaper. Pot holes in the grass with the river now flowing beneath them, coupled with silt covering the once were foot paths. Many people were awestruck, and I herd a fair amount of impressive slang that would not be appropriate to repeat.
In true Cantabrian teenage form, young boys were out jumping over/off the jagged cracks on their skateboards, all across this section. I had a little giggle and took a photo of them.
I then continued the journey to my parents house, and moving away from the river, the damage that could be seem was minimal. The odd chimney had fallen down and some looked like they were about to topple at the slightest breeze. I arrived at my parents to find a driveway full of bricks. Bricks! Mum said nothing about anything falling down when she had rung me numerous times that morning. Upon entering the house and greeting My parents and a frazzled sister who's house was a mess and had been cut off from power and maybe water, I then learned that the piles of bricks were the once old chimney that Dad has been meaning to dismantle for some time. He said it was a miracle it didn't fall down in the quake. With no effort at all, he was able to just pick up the bricks, one by one, and drop them on the drive.
That seems to be the general feel for everyone at the moment. "Its a miracle that ...." Everyone has a story, and everyone feels it could have been worse and are thankful it was not.
It is now Monday morning, and I am still on edge. We have felt countless aftershocks, and every truck rumble or plane over head brings a slight skip of the heart and a split second surge of adrenaline wondering if diving for the nearest table or door frame is needed. Going to sleep is hard. Both nights I've left it until I am exhausted to crawl into my bed, for I know any attempts to sleep prior to that, would be fruitless. When I am at that point, and I close my eyes, I feel as tho my bed is shaking. Sometimes I'm right, and sometimes it's just my mind playing tricks. Last night however, there was another shake as I was drifting off to sleep.
School is out until Wednesday. Now is not a time I feel good about being away from my Mischiefs, But i would be lying if i said part of me wants to be able to clean my house without them around.
I am thankful that not only is my shopping day Wednesday and that when I go shopping, I buy for the week, but also for those years of marriage to a man who would never let our cupboards go empty. I have kept that up since our separation, and at a quick estimation, I could stretch the food I have to last about 2-3 weeks. My milk goes off on the 12th, so hopefully by then I will be able to get more. From what I understand, Supermarkets are open and getting things in, but things like bread and bottled water are flying off the shelves. I'm Thankful that my car also has nasty but safe to drink Dunedin water rolling around in bottles. I have them there just in case there are any unfortunate circumstances during long distance trips.
My power never went out and neither did my water which I am also thankful for. I'm also thankful that I have so many containers full of kids toys, that when I found out that water may be cut (at first my parents had water, then they didn't), I started filling them with water.
This has been a massive shock to the system. Even tho the only damage my house took was my tv, the destruction around the City has brought me to tears. Right now I'm trying to hold them back. Opawa Chapel is still standing, no damage. The Stake Center has huge cracks up the walls, and Avonside Chapel has a crack from Pulpit to Rec hall, with bricks fallen in the hall ways. I have not herd about Cashmere Chapel, but it is also by a river, so it wouldn't surprise me to find that's cracked to the nines as well.
I have a collection of photos and a video that I have taken so that you all out there may see what I have seen. I have seen houses that have been destroyed but out of respect for the owners, I did not want to exploit their sufferings. Photos however never capture the full beauty of all nature has to offer. I find myself using words such as "Amazing", "Spectacular", "Incredible" because there are no others large enough to describe fully and give mother nature the reverence she deserves.
This has been a humbling experience to realize that we can do what we want, build what we want, but both Mother Nature and God Rule Supreme.
Please excuse the long pauses and the constant saying of "just". I was lost for words. You can also tell that my cold is still hanging around.
At approximately 4.30am, I woke to being violently tossed about in my bed, a split second later sound registered in my mind as a loud crack vibrated the air. My large tv that once sat on my draws, was now face down on the wooden floor. I herd my Mischiefs scream through the ever so loud rumbling. The sound was like 100 Jet Planes flying low over head. I tried to get to them but the constant shaking made it next to impossible. When the earth calmed down a little, I went to go check on them. Mischief 1 was awake and sitting in his bed. "what was that mummy?" "An earthquake honey" "What?" "An earthquake, go back to sleep if you can". The girls door had been slammed shut while the earth heaved our house around. I opened it to find them crying in the dark. I turned their bedside light on and calmed them down. When everyone was settled, I went and sat on my bed. I saw my phone and contemplated calling my mum. It was 5am and I did not want to wake her. What if she had slept through it? Next thing my phone starts ringing and it was my mum. I told her that we are fine and the kids are settled again and that yes, I still have power. My sister and brother were both out of power and my sisters house was a mess. I got off the phone to mum and went back to check on the mischiefs, as I stood in my hall way, I herd only what I can explain as a freight train heading right past an open door. Then the ground began to heave again. More screams from the mischief girls. Mischief 1 however had I think actually gone back to sleep. Like his father, can pretty much sleep through anything at night.
Once again when the girls were settled, I came back to my room, sat on my bed, replied to txts friends had sent and sent some off to others I had not herd from. Friends from Dunedin started txting after they to had been woken up and learned that the epicenter was focused near Christchurch. My Bestie from the middle of the north island also started txting me because she too had been shunned awake by the quake. Every half an hour at the latest, the ground would quiver and mischief 3 would moan. I gave up on sleep at about 6am and came onto my computer to see what I could find out. I listened to the radio as I browsed the net and came across a site I'm now addicted to. GeoNet. There I discovered what scientists at that time said was a 7.4 magnitude earthquake hit just outside of Christchurch. I knew we had an earthquake but had no idea it was that big. Although as the day progressed, further study of the information now states that is was a 7.1 magnitude but much shallower than originally thought.
During the morning, friends who were out and about would show up to see if my mischiefs and I were alright. Sometime during the later part of the morning, I decided to take a "tiki tour" to my parents place. I came across a scene just meters from my old High School. It was by the Avon river and a lot of the urban mess can be found by the beautiful Avon river that runs through the City. The road was torn apart, crossing islands ripped by gaping holes. Gutters and drains torn from the road and some crumbled like yesterdays newspaper. Pot holes in the grass with the river now flowing beneath them, coupled with silt covering the once were foot paths. Many people were awestruck, and I herd a fair amount of impressive slang that would not be appropriate to repeat.
In true Cantabrian teenage form, young boys were out jumping over/off the jagged cracks on their skateboards, all across this section. I had a little giggle and took a photo of them.
I then continued the journey to my parents house, and moving away from the river, the damage that could be seem was minimal. The odd chimney had fallen down and some looked like they were about to topple at the slightest breeze. I arrived at my parents to find a driveway full of bricks. Bricks! Mum said nothing about anything falling down when she had rung me numerous times that morning. Upon entering the house and greeting My parents and a frazzled sister who's house was a mess and had been cut off from power and maybe water, I then learned that the piles of bricks were the once old chimney that Dad has been meaning to dismantle for some time. He said it was a miracle it didn't fall down in the quake. With no effort at all, he was able to just pick up the bricks, one by one, and drop them on the drive.
That seems to be the general feel for everyone at the moment. "Its a miracle that ...." Everyone has a story, and everyone feels it could have been worse and are thankful it was not.
It is now Monday morning, and I am still on edge. We have felt countless aftershocks, and every truck rumble or plane over head brings a slight skip of the heart and a split second surge of adrenaline wondering if diving for the nearest table or door frame is needed. Going to sleep is hard. Both nights I've left it until I am exhausted to crawl into my bed, for I know any attempts to sleep prior to that, would be fruitless. When I am at that point, and I close my eyes, I feel as tho my bed is shaking. Sometimes I'm right, and sometimes it's just my mind playing tricks. Last night however, there was another shake as I was drifting off to sleep.
School is out until Wednesday. Now is not a time I feel good about being away from my Mischiefs, But i would be lying if i said part of me wants to be able to clean my house without them around.
I am thankful that not only is my shopping day Wednesday and that when I go shopping, I buy for the week, but also for those years of marriage to a man who would never let our cupboards go empty. I have kept that up since our separation, and at a quick estimation, I could stretch the food I have to last about 2-3 weeks. My milk goes off on the 12th, so hopefully by then I will be able to get more. From what I understand, Supermarkets are open and getting things in, but things like bread and bottled water are flying off the shelves. I'm Thankful that my car also has nasty but safe to drink Dunedin water rolling around in bottles. I have them there just in case there are any unfortunate circumstances during long distance trips.
My power never went out and neither did my water which I am also thankful for. I'm also thankful that I have so many containers full of kids toys, that when I found out that water may be cut (at first my parents had water, then they didn't), I started filling them with water.
This has been a massive shock to the system. Even tho the only damage my house took was my tv, the destruction around the City has brought me to tears. Right now I'm trying to hold them back. Opawa Chapel is still standing, no damage. The Stake Center has huge cracks up the walls, and Avonside Chapel has a crack from Pulpit to Rec hall, with bricks fallen in the hall ways. I have not herd about Cashmere Chapel, but it is also by a river, so it wouldn't surprise me to find that's cracked to the nines as well.
I have a collection of photos and a video that I have taken so that you all out there may see what I have seen. I have seen houses that have been destroyed but out of respect for the owners, I did not want to exploit their sufferings. Photos however never capture the full beauty of all nature has to offer. I find myself using words such as "Amazing", "Spectacular", "Incredible" because there are no others large enough to describe fully and give mother nature the reverence she deserves.
This has been a humbling experience to realize that we can do what we want, build what we want, but both Mother Nature and God Rule Supreme.
The Girls helping move the old chimney bricks off the dive
Please excuse the long pauses and the constant saying of "just". I was lost for words. You can also tell that my cold is still hanging around.Thursday, September 2, 2010
Oh to be a Bakery Roll
I was down at my local Mall this morning and I happened to walk past this big sign outside the Supermarket.
I thought my spelling was bad.... Only in Linwood!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
One Wheel Van.
A couple days ago, I learned that my Van only has one wheel that is turned by the engine. Is that even right? Well it seemed to be the case that day. When standing behind the pastel green beast, It is the back left wheel that turns. How did I find this out you may ask ... Well ...
I woke that morning at about 430am listening to mischief 2 cough cough coughing away. She did not cease until sometime mid-morning. The amount of sleep I achieved to grab after that time was next to none. Later that morning at an appropriate time to get the mischiefs up and ready for their various destinations, I noticed that my head was somewhat sore. This was not an odd occurrence, as it seems to be happening rather frequently at this given time. Normally when I get up and start the daily grind, the aforementioned sore heads tend to evaporate. That day however, was different. That sore head started to get worse and worse and by mid morning i could hardly move. So I then gathered up mischief 3 and found my way over to my parents house to raid their cupboard for pain relief goods. After I had taken what i thought was sufficient enough to knock this soon to be migraine (although it most likely already was due to my oncoming nausea and light sensitivity) on the head, and also stuffed in my pockets some reserves for later, I found my way back to my house, put mischief to bed and then did the same for myself.
I woke a couple hours later to find that my head was no longer sore, but I did have that slight feeling of cotton wool foggyness. I shook it off and set out to pick up the mischiefs from their places of learning. As I arrived home, I turned my van around so i could back into my drive (for some reason, I do enjoy backing into my driveway and prefer to do this when I can instead of driving in front ways). Due to my mild foggy-headedness and my poor spacial awareness, I missed the drive by a tire width and landed my back left tire in the deep gutter. I put the van in drive in order to get the tire out. But it did not move. Why was it not moving? I jumped out of the car, looked around, just one tire was in the gutter, so why was the other ones not moving to get that one out? I then got mischief 1 out of the car and asked him to look at the guttered tire and tell me what it was doing. As I put my foot on the gas, he calls to me and says "Its just going round and round, that's all, just round and round".
As I stood on the side of the road, with my Van stuck in the gutter, hazard lights on, I watched many people drive around me but none stopped to help. There wasn't anyone to call to help because they were all at work. I didn't want to call roadside rescue because I want to save my 2 free call outs per year for something that i actually solely their help for, like locking my keys in my van and it was only the beginning of the car insurance year. I stood there, on the side of the road, still in my pajamas by the way (under my track pants and jacket - not a good fashion day that day either) about to burst into tears, when I spotted a high school student walking on the other side of the road. I flagged her down and she pushed my van while I attempted to drive my car out of the gutter. Success!!
But it leaves me with the questions .... Why was that the only wheel that was turning? And why did it have to be the one that got stuck? One wheel? Are you serious? I must be wrong. shouldn't I?
I am so glad that day is over. May I not have another one of those again for a few years please.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Dog toilet paper!
Im not sure yet on weather I am a fan of supermarket specials. Sometimes you can walk through the supermarket and buy everything you need really cheap because it all seems to be on special, and some days you can walk out saving nothing because the opposite seems to be happening. Or you can walk in to the supermarket and completely blow your budget because things are on special only if you buy 2 or more of them.
I am a creature of habit and routine. I get payed on a Wednesday, therefore I do my shopping on a Wednesday and this past Wednesday was "Wacky Wednesday" (now we all know that i shop at Pac'n'Save). My first thought was "Ok I'm glad i got here early because it's going to get busy" Then i started to hope that things I needed where on special. This week, it was a mixture of everything. Things i needed were cheap, somethings i needed were not, and because my list this week was not very large i had a little money to treat myself (although i did end up over spending, but it was only buy $8.) One thing i treated myself to was Kleenex Cottonelle toilet paper. It was 18 rolls for only $4.99 and even tho i didn't need toilet paper this week, I did not want to pass up on the offer of having soft toilet paper for a few weeks.
When I got home, I started unpacking the shopping and putting everything from the bags into their piles before i put all the items away - Fridge pile, Pantry pile, Freezer pile, Bathroom pile etc. I came to the toilet paper and as I put it in the bathroom pile, Jahshia looked at it. She gazed at me with the look of "are you serious" smeared all over her now 4year old face and said to me in a tone that matched her face perfectly ...
"Dog toilet bum!!! You got Dog toilet bum!!!!" (she calls toilet paper toilet bum)
As i looked at the big packet of paper, there smiling back at me was a picture of a golden lab pup with his paw on a roll of paper. It dawned on me that she must be thinking that this is toilet paper for dogs. I had to somehow explain to her that the dog on there is not because its for dogs, but because it would be rather wrong to have a picture of a person sitting on the toilet, wiping his behind on the packet.
Maybe next time i should just stick to my budget brands.
I am a creature of habit and routine. I get payed on a Wednesday, therefore I do my shopping on a Wednesday and this past Wednesday was "Wacky Wednesday" (now we all know that i shop at Pac'n'Save). My first thought was "Ok I'm glad i got here early because it's going to get busy" Then i started to hope that things I needed where on special. This week, it was a mixture of everything. Things i needed were cheap, somethings i needed were not, and because my list this week was not very large i had a little money to treat myself (although i did end up over spending, but it was only buy $8.) One thing i treated myself to was Kleenex Cottonelle toilet paper. It was 18 rolls for only $4.99 and even tho i didn't need toilet paper this week, I did not want to pass up on the offer of having soft toilet paper for a few weeks.
When I got home, I started unpacking the shopping and putting everything from the bags into their piles before i put all the items away - Fridge pile, Pantry pile, Freezer pile, Bathroom pile etc. I came to the toilet paper and as I put it in the bathroom pile, Jahshia looked at it. She gazed at me with the look of "are you serious" smeared all over her now 4year old face and said to me in a tone that matched her face perfectly ...
"Dog toilet bum!!! You got Dog toilet bum!!!!" (she calls toilet paper toilet bum)
As i looked at the big packet of paper, there smiling back at me was a picture of a golden lab pup with his paw on a roll of paper. It dawned on me that she must be thinking that this is toilet paper for dogs. I had to somehow explain to her that the dog on there is not because its for dogs, but because it would be rather wrong to have a picture of a person sitting on the toilet, wiping his behind on the packet.
Maybe next time i should just stick to my budget brands.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Mischief Number 3
My Mischief number 3 is often a delightful bundle of cuddles.
She is a joker, a cheeky little tike, and a performer.
This afternoon as I sat on my bedroom floor helping the kids paint, she was swinging on my neck giving me cuddles. I ever so kindly (because that's how mothers always talk to their children ;) ) asked her to stop swinging so I could help with the painting. My request was responded with a huff and an immediate down-trou and waving her bare behind around while making "amusing" noises. As i looked at her waving behind, I came to realize that even tho her Father has not been in her life as much as he had for the other two, he has defiantly influenced her in some things.
She is a joker, a cheeky little tike, and a performer.
This afternoon as I sat on my bedroom floor helping the kids paint, she was swinging on my neck giving me cuddles. I ever so kindly (because that's how mothers always talk to their children ;) ) asked her to stop swinging so I could help with the painting. My request was responded with a huff and an immediate down-trou and waving her bare behind around while making "amusing" noises. As i looked at her waving behind, I came to realize that even tho her Father has not been in her life as much as he had for the other two, he has defiantly influenced her in some things.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Posting again .. sort of.
Yay I'm posting again, sort of.
Its been almost a year (about 9 months to be more exact) Since I have posted, unless you count the one before this, but I'm not.
I decided a while ago that I was going to start posting again, and I promised I would. So after a few months of sitting at the computer going to start a post and then not, I finally did.
So please bear with me while I get back into the flow of blogging and sifting through my thoughts and choosing which ones I want to talk about, which ones I will most likely get my head bitten off if I do post it, and which will cause a lot of trouble for people (although that could be ... um .. fun, for a bit. Then I'd get my head bitten off.). The hard thing about this is, that most of the things I would love to talk about (and probably need to in order to get them off my chest) falls into all of the aforementioned categories.
So again, please bear with my sporadic postings and absolute random musings while I try and get my bearings adjusted and my head screwed on in the proper place.
Although I am going to have a vent while putting my head on the chopping block...
I don't like lairs.
And that's all I can say. I started saying more but then i got to carried away and said to much and had to edit. That was the safest place to edit back to. Boy do i miss my gym and letting rip on the punching bags.
Oh dear, I just need to go to bed.
Its been almost a year (about 9 months to be more exact) Since I have posted, unless you count the one before this, but I'm not.
I decided a while ago that I was going to start posting again, and I promised I would. So after a few months of sitting at the computer going to start a post and then not, I finally did.
So please bear with me while I get back into the flow of blogging and sifting through my thoughts and choosing which ones I want to talk about, which ones I will most likely get my head bitten off if I do post it, and which will cause a lot of trouble for people (although that could be ... um .. fun, for a bit. Then I'd get my head bitten off.). The hard thing about this is, that most of the things I would love to talk about (and probably need to in order to get them off my chest) falls into all of the aforementioned categories.
So again, please bear with my sporadic postings and absolute random musings while I try and get my bearings adjusted and my head screwed on in the proper place.
Although I am going to have a vent while putting my head on the chopping block...
I don't like lairs.
And that's all I can say. I started saying more but then i got to carried away and said to much and had to edit. That was the safest place to edit back to. Boy do i miss my gym and letting rip on the punching bags.
Oh dear, I just need to go to bed.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Devin is too cute!
Lately Devins School teacher had mentioned to me that when she is reading with him, he often looks at the book sideways and is rubbing his eyes. She mentioned that this could be a sign he that the poor wee man might need glasses.
Today I took him to the Doctor to get his eyes checked. Lovely Doctor lady preformed a few eye tests on him, one being "cover one eye and tell me the letter" test. As she covered his eye she asked if he could please say what letter he saw. He with his 5 year old mind looked at the letters and said ...
"bah, dah, rrrrrr, hhhh, mmm"
I had to hold back my giggles, I could see him trying to hold back from doing the jolly phonics actions that go with each letter.
But good results. At this present time, there are no concerns from the Doctor.
Devin is too cute .... at times.
Ps - He is not cute all the time and he has just reminded me off that. Jahshia was getting annoyed because he was taking too long on the toilet. So she came along and flushed it while he was still on it. He got upset, but not at the usual "you got me all wet" but because he could not count the number of poos he had done. It was a rather long meltdown on his part. That's just gross!
Today I took him to the Doctor to get his eyes checked. Lovely Doctor lady preformed a few eye tests on him, one being "cover one eye and tell me the letter" test. As she covered his eye she asked if he could please say what letter he saw. He with his 5 year old mind looked at the letters and said ...
"bah, dah, rrrrrr, hhhh, mmm"
I had to hold back my giggles, I could see him trying to hold back from doing the jolly phonics actions that go with each letter.
But good results. At this present time, there are no concerns from the Doctor.
Devin is too cute .... at times.
Ps - He is not cute all the time and he has just reminded me off that. Jahshia was getting annoyed because he was taking too long on the toilet. So she came along and flushed it while he was still on it. He got upset, but not at the usual "you got me all wet" but because he could not count the number of poos he had done. It was a rather long meltdown on his part. That's just gross!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
To the Male Gender
Dear Men, Boys, Guys, Males or which ever you class yourselves in.
There are a few things you need to know. (Not all off you, just some of you)
I do understand that what happened in my marriage was not/is not an easy predicament to deal with, But it is something that I do have to deal with. I know that it wasn't the best thing a husband can do, but it happened. So please stop telling me so.
Please understand that I can hold my own. I do not need a Knight in shinning armour to come save me. I am doing fine!!
My Mischiefs do not need another Father because they have one who loves them and they him, so any attempts to discredit him as a Father or say "Your better off without him" will only hinder the chance of even a friendship. We are still good friends and I do not appreciate people talking badly about my friends.
Also note that we are not yet divorced. I do not even have the divorce papers yet, let alone signed them. So until then, I am still a married Woman.
I have not yet healed from the damaged that has been done, and until then, I will not even contemplate any form of relationship until this has happened. Note, that could take years.
I also have a great relationship with my own Father, so I do not feel the need to fill that void with someone older than him. He is about to turn 50 by the way.
Genuine friendships are perfectly fine, but the moment you say "lets be "friends", spend some time together, and see where it takes us" Is not. If those are your intentions, then you can back the truck up, turn around, drive off and find someone else.
Thank you for listening
Yours sincerely
Stressed Shrew
Sorry, I've just had somewhat of a stressful week.
Why did it take all of this to happen in my life, (marriage, kids, bust up) for the opposite gender to show interest in me?
I know i haven't blogged in ages and it was my birthday the other day as well. I'm now 26. Although people have commented that they thought i was about 22. That does make me feel good. :D Also sliding down the water slide with my mischiefs on a hot day makes me feel good to. Bring on more hot days please, Roll on summer!!
I'm sorry if all that sounds harsh, I just needed to vent. Please excuse me for that. :p
See, I'm smiling now *insert big chibby smile*
There are a few things you need to know. (Not all off you, just some of you)
I do understand that what happened in my marriage was not/is not an easy predicament to deal with, But it is something that I do have to deal with. I know that it wasn't the best thing a husband can do, but it happened. So please stop telling me so.
Please understand that I can hold my own. I do not need a Knight in shinning armour to come save me. I am doing fine!!
My Mischiefs do not need another Father because they have one who loves them and they him, so any attempts to discredit him as a Father or say "Your better off without him" will only hinder the chance of even a friendship. We are still good friends and I do not appreciate people talking badly about my friends.
Also note that we are not yet divorced. I do not even have the divorce papers yet, let alone signed them. So until then, I am still a married Woman.
I have not yet healed from the damaged that has been done, and until then, I will not even contemplate any form of relationship until this has happened. Note, that could take years.
I also have a great relationship with my own Father, so I do not feel the need to fill that void with someone older than him. He is about to turn 50 by the way.
Genuine friendships are perfectly fine, but the moment you say "lets be "friends", spend some time together, and see where it takes us" Is not. If those are your intentions, then you can back the truck up, turn around, drive off and find someone else.
Thank you for listening
Yours sincerely
Stressed Shrew
Sorry, I've just had somewhat of a stressful week.
Why did it take all of this to happen in my life, (marriage, kids, bust up) for the opposite gender to show interest in me?
I know i haven't blogged in ages and it was my birthday the other day as well. I'm now 26. Although people have commented that they thought i was about 22. That does make me feel good. :D Also sliding down the water slide with my mischiefs on a hot day makes me feel good to. Bring on more hot days please, Roll on summer!!
I'm sorry if all that sounds harsh, I just needed to vent. Please excuse me for that. :p
See, I'm smiling now *insert big chibby smile*
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Time poor
I really wish that i had more time to blog. Blogging is fun and a way that i relax. If anyone can tell me how to make time go slower and give me more energy so that i can have more time to relax, it would be much appreciated.
Cheers
Cheers
Thursday, August 27, 2009
A sheepish day
I picked Devin up today at lunch time when his Kindy finishes. We arrive home and as i finish closing the gate and turn around to walk down my garden steps, i catch a glimpse of the neighbours dog heading down the side of my house. It was only for a split second then his backside disappears round the corner. My neighbours dog is a large medium size dog, fluffy coat of a light cream colour. He often gets out of his create during the day and roams in my yard. I was not the only one that noticed the dog, Devin to noticed it, but not the same way as i did.
Devin "Mummy there is sheep in our house"
Mummy "No honey, that was the neighbours dog"
Devin "No Mummy, it was a sheep"
Mummy "The neighbour dog is shaggy and could look like a sheep sometimes"
He just left it at that, he wasn't going to push the subject.
Madison was falling asleep in my arms, so i unlocked the house, took her to her bed then proceeded to go to the window to shut the curtains. As i went to the window, i took a glimpse outside to check on the dog and make sure he was ok, but i got surprise. Standing in my backyard were 3 sheep.
"See mummy, sheep are in our house."
"Yes Devin, you were right, there are sheep in our yard"
Taken from my bedroom window.
Steering me down
Leaving to go back home.
Devin "Mummy there is sheep in our house"
Mummy "No honey, that was the neighbours dog"
Devin "No Mummy, it was a sheep"
Mummy "The neighbour dog is shaggy and could look like a sheep sometimes"
He just left it at that, he wasn't going to push the subject.
Madison was falling asleep in my arms, so i unlocked the house, took her to her bed then proceeded to go to the window to shut the curtains. As i went to the window, i took a glimpse outside to check on the dog and make sure he was ok, but i got surprise. Standing in my backyard were 3 sheep.
"See mummy, sheep are in our house."
"Yes Devin, you were right, there are sheep in our yard"
I tried to take photos of the 3 sheep, but alas, these sheep where somewhat sheepish and took off the moment i appeared in my yard.
After Madison woke from her afternoon nap, we went for a walk. An hour later we arrive home to find our backyard invaded yet again by sheep, but this time there were 4. I managed to get some photos this time before i herded them back down the driveway to where they belong.
Although would it be wrong of me to have one for dinner? The thought of roast lamb was very tempting.
Taken from my bedroom window.
Steering me down
Leaving to go back home.Peshie found a little lamb,
Munching on some toast,
She shaved it down & wrapped it up,
It made the perfect roast!
Munching on some toast,
She shaved it down & wrapped it up,
It made the perfect roast!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Whitebord fun!
"Sometimes, I think im Schizophrenic. But the voices in my head tell me otherwise!"
Recently I have invested in a whitebord that hangs in my living room. The perpose of this whitebord is to write either uplifting or humorus quotes in which would make me laugh or feel good. They stay on there for a week and during that time i am either highly amused or uplifted, which i need both of those things in my life.
This weeks quote is the one above in which i just randomly blurted out one day. It made me laugh so it made the cut.
A previous quote was ..
"Find fun in everything you do. That way, you are always happy and having fun!"
So if any of you out there have any quotes that are either uplifting or funny, feel free to shear and it may end up on my whitebord for a week.
Recently I have invested in a whitebord that hangs in my living room. The perpose of this whitebord is to write either uplifting or humorus quotes in which would make me laugh or feel good. They stay on there for a week and during that time i am either highly amused or uplifted, which i need both of those things in my life.
This weeks quote is the one above in which i just randomly blurted out one day. It made me laugh so it made the cut.
A previous quote was ..
"Find fun in everything you do. That way, you are always happy and having fun!"
So if any of you out there have any quotes that are either uplifting or funny, feel free to shear and it may end up on my whitebord for a week.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Unknown illness and a walking Mischief
One Friday morning, i woke somewhat still tiered, but that is not unusual for me seen as the sandman often makes a bypass round my house and avoids putting me to sleep, or even keeping me to sleep. Not even the adult version in the form of little blue pills brings on the much needed cuddly sleep creature. But this is all irrelevant and inconsequential to that story that is about to unfold.
I got up and dealt with the day at hand. Went through the motions of getting the mischiefs their breakfast and dealing with the days normal issues when you have children.
At 1pm i bundled the mischiefs in the car and ventured out to do a few things before we need to arrive at a 1 year olds birthday party. The party was good, and the mischiefs had fun. At 3.30pm i start gathering everything and think about heading home. By the time i arrive home at 4pm im starting to feel a mild twinge in my throat. Only 3 hours later when the mischiefs were in bed my throat was becoming rather swore, my head was starting to pound and my chest was getting a twinge of pain. By 9pm i was lying in bed not really wanting to move, by body was starting to ache.
I was forever waking up that night finding it a struggle to breath. At one stage i had to find a bucket to have beside my bed because when ever i had a sip of water it did not feel like it would stay where it was meant to. What on earth could come on so fast and so viciously? When the mischiefs got up at 7am, i was unable to move. I was in a fair amount of pain from head to toe. The only thought i had was this is the flu, i have had the flu before and this was very much what i had felt like. Except this was slightly different. The aches and pains and the mildly blocked nose with a sore throat where all things i knew with the flu, except this not knowing if i could hold water down was something i had not experienced with this virus. Could this flu i have be the dreaded H1N1 Swine flu? Sometime that morning my Branch President of My church had shown up to give me a blessing. While he was there i rung the urgent doctors because i wanted to know what the difference was between the "normal" flu and swine flu. The nurse on the phone wanted me to come down and get checked out because she could tell that i was having difficulties breathing. So the hunt was on to find someone to look after the mischiefs while President took me to the Doctors because i was clearly in no state to drive and take myself. We found someone (amassing Esther and her awesome hubby Moo ... They need a post all of their own in order to give them the right gratitude that i have) so off i went. Luckily because i had trouble breathing and chest pain i was seen right away. But come to think of it, i don't think they believed me because they took my temperature (i was already so dopped up on panadole which not only is a pain killer but it brings your temperature down) and it was high but not extremely high, and even though it was painful to breath, my blood was still getting a very good amount of oxygen in it. They looked at my throat and saw it was red, so gave me some antibiotics and sent me on my way. Didn't tell me why my chest hurt or why my entire body felt like i had been thrown out of a 10 story building. I wanted to know what exactly was wrong with me. But i was far to much away with the fairies to even to think about asking what they thought was wrong with me before i stumbled back out the front door. Later that night Esther and Moo turn up and find me in my bedroom struggling to breath. My chest was hurting as much as what labour pains feel like and im not talking about those beginning stages of labour pains, i mean the full on take your breath away tears flowing down your face sore because you opted to not have drugs. I then got checked out again by someone, this time it was paramedics that Ester had called for, but they had said that i was ok and didn't exactly believe me that i had a flu.
Wow this is turning into a much larger post than i had anticipated. So cutting a long story short, I was extremely sick. Im not one to complain when im sick and it takes an awful lot to knock me off my feet. This mystery illness did. Was it the dreaded swine flu or some other nasty greebly that found its way into my system.
But during this ordeal, Mischief number 3 - Madison, decided to put one foot in front of the other and try out walking. She is now walking all around the house and enjoying it immensely. Although sometimes to much as she get over excited and falls down. That is when i to fall on the floor with fits of laughter.
Three walking mischiefs ... what ever shell i do?
I got up and dealt with the day at hand. Went through the motions of getting the mischiefs their breakfast and dealing with the days normal issues when you have children.
At 1pm i bundled the mischiefs in the car and ventured out to do a few things before we need to arrive at a 1 year olds birthday party. The party was good, and the mischiefs had fun. At 3.30pm i start gathering everything and think about heading home. By the time i arrive home at 4pm im starting to feel a mild twinge in my throat. Only 3 hours later when the mischiefs were in bed my throat was becoming rather swore, my head was starting to pound and my chest was getting a twinge of pain. By 9pm i was lying in bed not really wanting to move, by body was starting to ache.
I was forever waking up that night finding it a struggle to breath. At one stage i had to find a bucket to have beside my bed because when ever i had a sip of water it did not feel like it would stay where it was meant to. What on earth could come on so fast and so viciously? When the mischiefs got up at 7am, i was unable to move. I was in a fair amount of pain from head to toe. The only thought i had was this is the flu, i have had the flu before and this was very much what i had felt like. Except this was slightly different. The aches and pains and the mildly blocked nose with a sore throat where all things i knew with the flu, except this not knowing if i could hold water down was something i had not experienced with this virus. Could this flu i have be the dreaded H1N1 Swine flu? Sometime that morning my Branch President of My church had shown up to give me a blessing. While he was there i rung the urgent doctors because i wanted to know what the difference was between the "normal" flu and swine flu. The nurse on the phone wanted me to come down and get checked out because she could tell that i was having difficulties breathing. So the hunt was on to find someone to look after the mischiefs while President took me to the Doctors because i was clearly in no state to drive and take myself. We found someone (amassing Esther and her awesome hubby Moo ... They need a post all of their own in order to give them the right gratitude that i have) so off i went. Luckily because i had trouble breathing and chest pain i was seen right away. But come to think of it, i don't think they believed me because they took my temperature (i was already so dopped up on panadole which not only is a pain killer but it brings your temperature down) and it was high but not extremely high, and even though it was painful to breath, my blood was still getting a very good amount of oxygen in it. They looked at my throat and saw it was red, so gave me some antibiotics and sent me on my way. Didn't tell me why my chest hurt or why my entire body felt like i had been thrown out of a 10 story building. I wanted to know what exactly was wrong with me. But i was far to much away with the fairies to even to think about asking what they thought was wrong with me before i stumbled back out the front door. Later that night Esther and Moo turn up and find me in my bedroom struggling to breath. My chest was hurting as much as what labour pains feel like and im not talking about those beginning stages of labour pains, i mean the full on take your breath away tears flowing down your face sore because you opted to not have drugs. I then got checked out again by someone, this time it was paramedics that Ester had called for, but they had said that i was ok and didn't exactly believe me that i had a flu.
Wow this is turning into a much larger post than i had anticipated. So cutting a long story short, I was extremely sick. Im not one to complain when im sick and it takes an awful lot to knock me off my feet. This mystery illness did. Was it the dreaded swine flu or some other nasty greebly that found its way into my system.
But during this ordeal, Mischief number 3 - Madison, decided to put one foot in front of the other and try out walking. She is now walking all around the house and enjoying it immensely. Although sometimes to much as she get over excited and falls down. That is when i to fall on the floor with fits of laughter.
Three walking mischiefs ... what ever shell i do?
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Random Occurrence
Tonight for dinner i made scrumptious Home made burgers where i even make the beef patties ... mmmm yum. One thing i like in my burgers is an egg. I cracked open an egg and let it drop into they fry pan, this is what come out ......
Double Yolk Egg. How awesome am i ha ha.
Double Yolk Egg. How awesome am i ha ha.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Happy thoughts
AHHHH i need happy thoughts.
Today was an ok day, but the evening has be somewhat stressful, since i was accused of playing little teenage games that i have clearly grown out of. You judge others by your own yard stick - one of my flaws that i am working on - but some people are clearly judging me by theirs. Just because they are still teenagers and like to play silly little games and what not, they seem to think that i do as well. For example - fake online accounts to stalk people with. This is one thing that i will not do. If i was to annoy someone i will do it straight up and not behind any kind of fake name. Second of all i just got frustrated with hearing about someone who really isn't worth my time and i blew up, in public (well as much as the net can be), not behind anything fake. Which then in turn spiraled into some teenage catty fight. Im over them. I had my last one when i was 19 and never intended to have another one. But during this "fight" i found out that this person has been spreading some very nasty things about me. I am fuming mad right now. So before i go to bed, I am going to list as many things as i can that i am thankful for in my life and think happy thoughts. Right now this is going to be hard. Here goes.....
* My gorgeous Mischiefs - even though they do make life hard at times, i love them to bits
* I own my own home - even though its a mess all the time and its drawn all over, its still MINE
Today was an ok day, but the evening has be somewhat stressful, since i was accused of playing little teenage games that i have clearly grown out of. You judge others by your own yard stick - one of my flaws that i am working on - but some people are clearly judging me by theirs. Just because they are still teenagers and like to play silly little games and what not, they seem to think that i do as well. For example - fake online accounts to stalk people with. This is one thing that i will not do. If i was to annoy someone i will do it straight up and not behind any kind of fake name. Second of all i just got frustrated with hearing about someone who really isn't worth my time and i blew up, in public (well as much as the net can be), not behind anything fake. Which then in turn spiraled into some teenage catty fight. Im over them. I had my last one when i was 19 and never intended to have another one. But during this "fight" i found out that this person has been spreading some very nasty things about me. I am fuming mad right now. So before i go to bed, I am going to list as many things as i can that i am thankful for in my life and think happy thoughts. Right now this is going to be hard. Here goes.....
* My gorgeous Mischiefs - even though they do make life hard at times, i love them to bits
* I own my own home - even though its a mess all the time and its drawn all over, its still MINE
..... stop the negative attitude after please ......
Ah its hard to think when your in a mood like this. Must push on.
Ah its hard to think when your in a mood like this. Must push on.
* I don't have to shear my bed with a snorer. Its peaceful when i sleep. although most nights i sleep with the tv on because it helps me sleep.
* Flowers - Flowers are pretty - although some do smell bad.
* Painting - Although i was ment to finish my painting im doing for Jakob tonight but that got side tracked.
* Flowers - Flowers are pretty - although some do smell bad.
* Painting - Although i was ment to finish my painting im doing for Jakob tonight but that got side tracked.
Its amazing how hard this is when you are in a bad mood. But i can't go to bed like this.
* Devins Prayers. He prayed the other night and thanked the lord for his transformer toy.
* Nice music - its always calming
* New Friends who you can really open up to and talk to. Its times like that when you know the lord is looking out for you.
* Hugs - mischief hugs are the best. Maddy Loves hugging at the moment.
* Watching my kids sleep - thats when i love them the most that a tear comes to my eyes.
* Hills - so i can have my house on top of one and see the beautiful view
* Pets - they love you no matter what
* Ice cream
* Hot chocolates in bed
* fluffy pillows
* Warm beds with the electric blanket on
* Pre-school
* Teddy bears
* Warm fires
* Random comments that make me laugh
* GLITTER ... its the most funnest thing around.
* Devins Prayers. He prayed the other night and thanked the lord for his transformer toy.
* Nice music - its always calming
* New Friends who you can really open up to and talk to. Its times like that when you know the lord is looking out for you.
* Hugs - mischief hugs are the best. Maddy Loves hugging at the moment.
* Watching my kids sleep - thats when i love them the most that a tear comes to my eyes.
* Hills - so i can have my house on top of one and see the beautiful view
* Pets - they love you no matter what
* Ice cream
* Hot chocolates in bed
* fluffy pillows
* Warm beds with the electric blanket on
* Pre-school
* Teddy bears
* Warm fires
* Random comments that make me laugh
* GLITTER ... its the most funnest thing around.
* I have a Cabby tat. I am so thank full for that. Not everyone will understand what i just said. She just tells me random things. No im not hearing voices - although im not far off that i would think
* Cabby tat told me to add that im thankfull for New Rocks. I LOVE then to bits. I should wear mine more often.
* Black eye liner with a smudging end
* Purple eye shadow
* BUNNIES (sorry couldn't help myself)
* My little brothers hat that i love to bits that he left in Christchirch now ive got claim on it
* Bubbles. I love bubbles
* Fairy wings are the best as well. If i get married again i MUST wear wings
* Lazy boy chairs
* Queen size beds with King size covers
* Spiders - not the scarry creepy crawly type. But the ones where its ice cream and fizzy
* Tim tam slam
Ok there is so much more that i can say now. So my work here is done. Good night all and i hope to sleep well tonight.
* Cabby tat told me to add that im thankfull for New Rocks. I LOVE then to bits. I should wear mine more often.
* Black eye liner with a smudging end
* Purple eye shadow
* BUNNIES (sorry couldn't help myself)
* My little brothers hat that i love to bits that he left in Christchirch now ive got claim on it
* Bubbles. I love bubbles
* Fairy wings are the best as well. If i get married again i MUST wear wings
* Lazy boy chairs
* Queen size beds with King size covers
* Spiders - not the scarry creepy crawly type. But the ones where its ice cream and fizzy
* Tim tam slam
Ok there is so much more that i can say now. So my work here is done. Good night all and i hope to sleep well tonight.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
A much needed catch up.
It has been almost 2 months since my last post, in which i am sorry about, but unfortunately i have had a some rather serious things to deal with that i did know where coming but they still knocked me for 6 when they happened. So, scene as it has been almost 2 months i feel it is time for a much needed update to my little life.
Well first off, an update of Jakob and I. Many of you know almost exactly what is going on in that department because the justice system is oh so kind to estranged wives and protecting them form the shame and embarrassment of the ordeal, so they did not grant name suppression which in tern landed him a story on the court page of the Otago Daily Times. That did really great things to my self esteem, self worth and dignity. If you don't know well then that's good, all you need to know is that is currently taking up residence in the Otago Corrections Facility aka Milton Hilton with a sentence of 2 years 4 month, which means his first parole hearing is due in February. Its odd that they can call it a Corrections Facility when all they do it lock you in a cell for most of the day and offer little if no support to correct the behaviour that found you locked up there in the first place. If they wanted to change the name from Jail to Corrections Facility then they should change the structure of it so its more fitting. If they are not willing to do that, then you may as well just keep the name of Jail. Political Correctness drives me insane.
Even though for the majority of this year, i have known that he was going to Jail, it did throw me somewhat. He did get longer than i had thought, but then again "do the crime, do the time". And that is very much his thoughts on the matter as well. It was still hard seen as i had been trying to keep what has been going on to myself, then suddenly everyone who reads the paper now knows the story. Although not a completely accurate version of events seen as the defense was made up of a twisted, vindictive, disgrace of a woman who doesn't deserve the title of Woman. I can not wait until Karma gives her a call and bitch slaps her around. Although that is a whole other post to vent about.
His court day happened on the 12th of May, only 2 days before our 3rd mischief Madison was to turn the beloved 1 year old. Since then i have been floating around trying to keep myself together. I have my good times and my bad. I've been swinging from wanting to sleep all the time to not even my little blue pills the doctor gave me are even helping me fall asleep.
I know that if you do the crime you have to do the time, but he was still a great support for me. He would still come over and take the kids off my hands so i can have some much needed me time and he would help me clean my house and also give me money when i needed. But now due to the justice system my support has been ripped away from my children and i and left me with very little in that department. There isn't much justice in that. The lest they could have done was give me some more support seen as they took my main support away. I had to fill out a form the other day for my parenting group, it asked for my next of kin - someone to contact if something was to go wrong. I sat there and almost cried and sadly turned to the group leader and asked "what do i write if i have no one?". That felt rather depressing.
I would say that i am going through the motions of grief. Right at this point i am going through anger. I am very angry right now and especially at Jakob for putting me in this situation. I never signed up for this. I signed up to be married for time and all eternity, not to be left to be a solo mum of 3 kids with absolutely no trust for anyone else to ever come into my life. What happened has left me very broken and i just seem to think that if my Husband can do what he did, then there is nothing stopping anyone else from doing it. Now I'm starting to ramble and that's not a good thing when i am in this mood. So anger .. I am angry, but i am not a vindictive person, so i will not do anything long lasting with that anger, for example burn all his cloths that he has left here. That's tempting, but i could never do that.
Due to Jakob being in Jail, he is about to declare himself Bankrupt. I spoke to my lawyer the other day about this and she is doing some research into how this will affect me. That is stressful, but then at least it will stop all the debt collectors from bombarding my house with phone calls and letters demanding Jakob to pay them.
The mischiefs are doing ok. They do miss their dad and love getting phone calls from him.
When Jakob went away i sat Devin down and i told him that Daddy had to move away for a little bit because he is in big boy time out. I thought he would not understand the term Jail or even Corrections Facility but i thought he would understand time out. I have also talked about the difference between big boy time out which daddy is having and little boy time out which Devin has. Calling it time out has saved me from embarrassment. As little kids are they do like to talk a lot about what pops in there head and Devin has told a fair few people that his daddy is in time out. To the people who do not know his situation, time out can mean anything, they would not immediately presume that he is referring to jail.
I have also put pictures of each child and their father beside their bed, so they don't forget what he looks like. I will never run their father down to them, no mater what has happened or will happen between Jakob and I. It is highly unfair to do so.
Other aspects of my life ... well there really isn't much to update you on that seen as there isn't much else to my life than looking after the kids and dealing with all that has happened.
I will try to post more often. My Wii may get repossessed due to the bankruptcy so ill need some other form on mind numbing entertainment. Not that posting is mind numbing, but playing odd games on Facebook is.
Well first off, an update of Jakob and I. Many of you know almost exactly what is going on in that department because the justice system is oh so kind to estranged wives and protecting them form the shame and embarrassment of the ordeal, so they did not grant name suppression which in tern landed him a story on the court page of the Otago Daily Times. That did really great things to my self esteem, self worth and dignity. If you don't know well then that's good, all you need to know is that is currently taking up residence in the Otago Corrections Facility aka Milton Hilton with a sentence of 2 years 4 month, which means his first parole hearing is due in February. Its odd that they can call it a Corrections Facility when all they do it lock you in a cell for most of the day and offer little if no support to correct the behaviour that found you locked up there in the first place. If they wanted to change the name from Jail to Corrections Facility then they should change the structure of it so its more fitting. If they are not willing to do that, then you may as well just keep the name of Jail. Political Correctness drives me insane.
Even though for the majority of this year, i have known that he was going to Jail, it did throw me somewhat. He did get longer than i had thought, but then again "do the crime, do the time". And that is very much his thoughts on the matter as well. It was still hard seen as i had been trying to keep what has been going on to myself, then suddenly everyone who reads the paper now knows the story. Although not a completely accurate version of events seen as the defense was made up of a twisted, vindictive, disgrace of a woman who doesn't deserve the title of Woman. I can not wait until Karma gives her a call and bitch slaps her around. Although that is a whole other post to vent about.
His court day happened on the 12th of May, only 2 days before our 3rd mischief Madison was to turn the beloved 1 year old. Since then i have been floating around trying to keep myself together. I have my good times and my bad. I've been swinging from wanting to sleep all the time to not even my little blue pills the doctor gave me are even helping me fall asleep.
I know that if you do the crime you have to do the time, but he was still a great support for me. He would still come over and take the kids off my hands so i can have some much needed me time and he would help me clean my house and also give me money when i needed. But now due to the justice system my support has been ripped away from my children and i and left me with very little in that department. There isn't much justice in that. The lest they could have done was give me some more support seen as they took my main support away. I had to fill out a form the other day for my parenting group, it asked for my next of kin - someone to contact if something was to go wrong. I sat there and almost cried and sadly turned to the group leader and asked "what do i write if i have no one?". That felt rather depressing.
I would say that i am going through the motions of grief. Right at this point i am going through anger. I am very angry right now and especially at Jakob for putting me in this situation. I never signed up for this. I signed up to be married for time and all eternity, not to be left to be a solo mum of 3 kids with absolutely no trust for anyone else to ever come into my life. What happened has left me very broken and i just seem to think that if my Husband can do what he did, then there is nothing stopping anyone else from doing it. Now I'm starting to ramble and that's not a good thing when i am in this mood. So anger .. I am angry, but i am not a vindictive person, so i will not do anything long lasting with that anger, for example burn all his cloths that he has left here. That's tempting, but i could never do that.
Due to Jakob being in Jail, he is about to declare himself Bankrupt. I spoke to my lawyer the other day about this and she is doing some research into how this will affect me. That is stressful, but then at least it will stop all the debt collectors from bombarding my house with phone calls and letters demanding Jakob to pay them.
The mischiefs are doing ok. They do miss their dad and love getting phone calls from him.
When Jakob went away i sat Devin down and i told him that Daddy had to move away for a little bit because he is in big boy time out. I thought he would not understand the term Jail or even Corrections Facility but i thought he would understand time out. I have also talked about the difference between big boy time out which daddy is having and little boy time out which Devin has. Calling it time out has saved me from embarrassment. As little kids are they do like to talk a lot about what pops in there head and Devin has told a fair few people that his daddy is in time out. To the people who do not know his situation, time out can mean anything, they would not immediately presume that he is referring to jail.
I have also put pictures of each child and their father beside their bed, so they don't forget what he looks like. I will never run their father down to them, no mater what has happened or will happen between Jakob and I. It is highly unfair to do so.
Other aspects of my life ... well there really isn't much to update you on that seen as there isn't much else to my life than looking after the kids and dealing with all that has happened.
I will try to post more often. My Wii may get repossessed due to the bankruptcy so ill need some other form on mind numbing entertainment. Not that posting is mind numbing, but playing odd games on Facebook is.
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