Vlog #1

I have a web cam now, so i thought i would do a vlog - video blog. My camera for some strange reason cuts out after 30 seconds so thats why there will suddenly be a black screen. But if you can get past that, i hope you enjoy. Ha ha i feel insane for talking to a camera like that. Ba ha ha ha ha
Lots of ums and things not making to much sense. Could you tell i felt stupid ha ha ha.

3 Mischiefs and a Supermarket.

Wednesday is a pre-school day. Wednesday is pay day. Wednesday is the day i go grocery shopping. Its the perfect day to do it.
The plan yesterday was to do my shopping as usual and take Jakob as well seen as he has no car. But when i pulled up to his house, something had happened and he needed my help with something else. Which ended up taking up all my time and i never got to go shopping. But its ok, i really needed to help him and that was more important than shopping.

So due to my lack of shopping yesterday, and the lack of basic food stuffs such as milk, butter, bread etc, i endeavored to take all three mischiefs to the supermarket .. on my own. Wow i was insane. Devin ran around everywhere and kept wanting to sit in the trolley on all the food. Jahshia kept throwing things in that she thought i needed and Madison was rather good, but did start crying when Jahshia thought it would be funny to hit her on the head. Poor little mischief, gets all sorts of torture committed to her.
The biggest trial though of shopping with them all on my own, was the part when we got home. You see, i have no off street parking, then on top of that, i can not park on my side of the road.
This is how i executed the dilemma of getting kids and shopping inside...
Step 1 - Get the kids inside but leave the front door open so they know you haven't abandoned them.
Step 2 - Go to the car but leave the front gate shut so no kids can follow you out.
Step 3 - Get all the shopping bags out of the car and put them in front of the gate.
Step 4 - Open the gate and put all the bags at the top of the stairs. Never let the bags out of your sight or else mischiefs will put sticky fingers through them and open all the things they are not meant to open, so the next steps are to prevent that.
Step 5 - Take all the bags from the top of the stairs down to the deck.
Step 6 - Take all bags from the deck into the kitchen.
Step 7 - Quickly get all the things that need to go into the fridge or freezer into their appropriate places. Then take kids out of the kitchen and close the door.
Step 8 - Go back later and put the rest of the shopping away when the mischiefs no longer need all your attention.

Im getting the hang of this mum thing. Im learning new tricks all the time. Sure i have my bad days but everyone does. But overall i love being a mum.

Marriage vows

Just something i would like to say to those who read my blog who still are getting to know me or may not know my values.

Legally, I am still married, so in my mind those wedding vows and promises are still valid. Sure Jakob isn't exactly following them but that doesn't mean i can just toss them to the side.
To be true to myself and the morals and values i hold dear, I will not look or even think about a relationship with anyone else or even do anything along those lines with anyone else.
Please do not think otherwise of me.

My past catches up

For those who read my blog rather attentively and love to flip through all the comments that other interested readers may leave, you may have noticed a comment recently by someone from my past.

Darren is an ex-boyfriend of mine. We had a fairly big relationship back at the end of my teenage years. I just thought, he may be reading this, so i need to watch what i say ha ha. He was the guy i dated before i found Jakob. Although there was like a year in between that relationship ending and meeting Jakob. Thought i might make that clear just in case i look like a tramp or something ha ha.
I haven't seen or herd from him in about 5 or 6 years and he suddenly writes a comment on my blog. Although the oddest thing about it is, the day before the comment appeared, was the day Jakob and i decided we needed some "time out" and not talk to each other for a while. We were driving each other more so insane that what we already are.
We have talked a bit and caught up with what each other is doing in life and sorted out how he found me. When we were dating he had a friend called Pete. When Darren and i broke up, i stayed friends with Pete. We are still friends now. Hes the one that feed the ducks with me when i recently went up to Christchurch (post here). Pete was at a party the other night and found that Darren was at the party as well. So they chatted and caught up and Pete gave him my blog address. So that makes me more relieved hes not a stalker.
But it is odd that he just suddenly appeared out of no where the day after Jakob and i decided not to talk to each other. But i do not believe in coincidence's, things happen for a reason. And it just so happens that he has said a few things to me that have made me think. He will have no idea what it is he said or even what i am thinking about, but sorry Jakob i don't think its good for you. I'm not going to shear what i am thinking because it is rather personal. But he has made me think about the situation i am in and where exactly i am heading in life.
So who knows now where life will take me. Not that i knew anyways but i am now starting to think long a hard about a lot of things.

Dead tooth

About a week ago, Devin and Jahshia where play fighting as they do. Yes Jahshia is very much a girl who loves to dress up and be all girly, but she also likes to play fight. While they were rolling around the floor and the couch there was a rather unfortunate collision between a three year old head and a 2 year olds mouth. After many tearful hugs, and sobbing apologies, followed by a lecture about how we need to be careful, things seemed to go back to normal. Or at least what normal is for this house hold. Later on that night i noticed Jahshia was avoiding eating with her front teeth and grizzled every time she had to pull the lid of her drink bottle up with her teeth. I thought id just keep and eye on it.

And so i did, kept an eye on it. She went back to eating fine and was no longer grizzling about it, so i left it at that. Until this morning.

This morning i noticed that her tooth was turning gray. Not a good sign. So off we trotted to the dentist. We found out that yes her tooth has died and that she has little if no feeling in that tooth. I am so proud of her though. We had to do x-rays of the tooth and she did all that the dentist asked her to do and she sat on my knee so still while they took the x-ray and they got a very good x-ray of her tooth.

So proud of my darling little trouper.

But its November

Its November right? Last month of spring down here in New Zealand right?

Then why did i wake up this morning to find a light dusting of SNOW, yes snow round my house. Its a month before summer and there is snow on the ground. This dose not make sense.

I would love to take pictures for those who do not believe me but alas, my camera is in the shop being fixed. I bought the camera 4 years ago and purchased a 5 year extended warranty with it. Im so glad i did now.

But snow? It makes no sense.

Chaos in a world of responsability.

I think im going rather insane. Well more so than what i was before. I got a new hair cut the other day and i put highlights in it as well. Red and blond. I wanted a mixture of thick chunky ones and thin ones but they only did thin ones, or if they did do fat ones they are no where near as fat as i wanted. So then i decided that i will get some more done and add purple and blue in it. Yes purple and Blue. See i am going ever more insane.

I am reverting back to my young teenage punk look, although i am leaving my old leather collar with a variety of spikes in my draw. I can and will admit that i see a therapist each week. I do not think that there is anything wrong with me talking to someone because of all the stuff that is happening in my life right now and also not long before all if it happened, the Doctor did put me on an anti-depressant due to Post natal depression and anxiety. Although it was more anxiety because i was doing some crazy "O.C.D tendency" things as my Doctor put it. So i have been seeing someone since then. Nothing wrong with that. But i was talking to her last week about painting on my walls and wanting my hair done and i realized that i have so much responsibility on my own now that i am "breaking out" and "breaking the rules" where im aloud. Causing Anarchy and Chaos to release the berdon of so much responsability.

I do have to admit that I'm having a lot of fun and i do feel a happines within myself that i had long forgotten. So, long may this last and and long may i remember who i am.

♥I am a Woman, a child of god, a princes in the kingdom of our Father in Heaven, Who likes to wear wings and rock out to music while painting on my walls.♥
♥Im a tough, hard, punk arse, rock chick ..... who has 3 kids and drives a pastel green mini van and has morals and standards♥
♥I am a conumdrum, a puzzel and full of contradictions♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Highlights the camera didn't pick up to well.

My arms i made the other day.